"I just can't shake that feeling that something bad is going to happen at work. I've been on the year long test drive they put all the new people on, and every time I go to work, I ask myself, "Am I going to pass or fail?" Jeannie said to me in earnest, her face pinched. As we talked, I encouraged her to try mindfulness in action (below).
One of the things I work on with people is identifying how to respond to fears which have become gargantuan in size. What I call, "That Apocalyptic Feeling." ;) And, if you have it, chances are good that it's probably not an apocalypse!
When you're really right in the middle of an intense traffic situation, or you've just fallen down stairs, or you hear terrible news, you might be stunned, but, it's unlikely that you're thinking, "THIS is the Apocalypse!!!" Well, not until later... After you have time for your brain to get out of fight-flight or freeze mode.
Here are 6 Steps to move you back into a highly functional state! ;)
1. Identify that you're in that super scared state. Yes. Say it out loud (or quietly to yourself.). Say it with me now, "I am super scared. This is scary. I don't like feeling scared." Being honest helps to quiet the intensity. It's when we deny it that things become harder, and we become tenser. Or, we stuff the feeling and deal later. Not good!
2. Take note of your physical sensations. The first place our minds go when we're scared is identifying whether our bodies have been hurt. The important thing to do is to notice what you are experiencing. So, this is about reassuring ourselves. Yup, still intact!
3. Then label them. e.g. "My breathing is short."
Psychiatrist and founder of Interpersonal Neurobiology, a wonderful practice combining Mindfulness, positive connections, and brain science, says, "You name it, you tame it." It's true. Combining words with physical and emotional experiences creates closure for your mind.
4. Notice your emotions. Label those. "I feel anxious."
5. Label the external world: e.g. "I see a fern." or, "The walls are blue." Focusing on the external world helps to ground you, and move you away from the focus on your body or feelings. This orients you not just in your situation but in the world. Focus on what you're seeing, or hearing, or smelling, etc. If your eyes rest somewhere, let them rest, and let your mind wander. This again helps to calm your mind and body.
6. Provide context. We tend to lose context when we feel freaked out. So, try saying to yourself, "Even though x happened, it's not happening now and I am safe." Then, take a breath. Or, "I will get through this. It's not the end of the world. I will make it through okay. I always do. I always land on my feet," etc. You get the idea! The connection between your mind and body will be strengthened and your resiliency will, too! :) "You've lost that apocalyptic feeling... Now, it's gone, gone, gone!" ;)
Give it a try and let me know how it works out!!!
#anxiety #fears #hope #mindfulness #CBT # coaching #Portland #PDX #IPNB #grounding
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Dr. Heather Schwartz is an integrative psychologist and life coach in Portland, OR who delights in working with warm-hearted visionaries seeking to trust their inner knowing, move beyond fears, and make a difference in the world by being their authentic selves.
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