Guidance From Your Future Self

Back when I was a fledgling graduate student in clinical psychology, I had my first class on doing therapy. We were asked by our instructor to imagine our future selves. Though I felt very nervous about doing therapy, I saw myself in a smart suit, doing therapy in a bright windowed room, smiling (wisely, I’d hoped), and nodding with clients. I could only see the edge of the room, but I knew the desk was wood and the window was big. I imagined my future self extolling the wisdom of perseverance, feeling the pleasure of FINALLY making it.

Graduate school, especially in the doctoral programs in psychology, is a seemingly endless confluence of intellectual and emotional growth, with one goal leading to the next and no end in sight. (Just the thought of listing them here makes me sweat!). So much of the ongoing classes, dissertation, required therapy, applications to get into unpaid internships, being appraised by future and current supervisors and peers can bring up deep insecurities about yourself as a person, as well as as your ability, and whether this ongoing process actually leads to success.

The thing about becoming a psychologist that no one in the field tells you is that if you stop along the way, your skills don’t translate to other careers, including masters-level counseling! The classes are different. So, if you stop, you’re stuck. 

But, amping up can feel exhausting (working at paying jobs while in school while interning at unpaid internships for years just to earn the privilege of accrued hours and a chance to take a national exam of 9 subject areas as well as a state exam). Yeah. Not fun. You have to really want it!

And, whenever I had hard moments where I thought of giving up, I’d think of my future self, almost like a helpful friend, gently encouraging me along. I could see my suit and imagine a great appreciation in having made it!

From these visualizations, I began to see the end goal: the privilege of feeling whole. 

The office I have now is not so different from the one I imagined 15 years ago. It has huge windows. The wooden desk faces the window rather than away from it, and I wear casual rather than formal clothes. And, though the person I’ve become has been shaped by that guided visualization, my true therapist self has emerged even more deeply comfortable and whole than the person I imagined. But, if it hadn’t been for that image of myself guiding me years ago, I doubt I’d be as comfortable as I am now, with a private practice built of invisible years of struggle and visible years of success.

*****

Where are you struggling?

If you were to imagine your future self, what would s/he look like and say about this time?

What would it be like to come back to this image when times are hard?

*********
Dr. Heather Schwartz is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice (Yay!) who specializes in working with kind and expressive people seeking greater authenticity, connection, and empowerment in their lives.