As women, we often question what true power looks and feels like.
I was at the gym recently, listening to a song I used to love to dance to in my early 20’s. I was enjoying myself, until I started noticing that I wasn't focused on this direct experience anymore but on past memories of what people thought of me.
It was a song I loved dancing to, (ironically called, 100% Pure Love), and it brought me back to the past - and old issues - that were clearly still coming up to be healed.
My 20's were a time when I derived a lot of my self-worth from how other people saw me. I felt insecure a lot of the time, and worried about how other people saw me. I always felt wanting - until I began to change that.
As women in American society, we derive a lot of our sense of worth from the outside. We come by this naturally - so many images in our media of how we're supposed to look or be or act.
So, when we face these messages, especially the ones which affect our view of ourselves, we lose sight of who we are -- from the inside.
The work comes from being present with ourselves:
- Enjoying who we are from the inside.
- Accepting all parts of ourselves with compassion.
- Noticing when we try to please others and instead, asking ourselves, "What do I know is true? What do I really want - beyond making others happy?"
- Acknowledging and having compassion for ourselves when we crave praise or admiration -- which is another way of saying: we matter, we are unique, and we deserve to feel good.
Brene Brown says that our society struggles with feeling and holding joy.
I would add that we women struggle with receiving, in general!
It takes bravery to really enjoy, savor, love, and receive our presence and pleasure from our bodies and our relationships as women -- not from a gluttonous, feel good kind of way, but to really feel your sense of pleasure from the inside, for yourself.
This is a way of loving and appreciating ourselves as people. I don't just mean sexual pleasure. Of course, that's important. But, it's not the only way you experience your vital aliveness!
Feeling the pleasure of taking a shower, or walking down the street - having your hair blown by a soft warm wind, or smelling woodsmoke, or leaning up against a tree feeling, or even the pleasure of getting into bed after a long day, feeling fully supported by the bed. These are simple pleasures which remind us of being fully embodied and alive.
One powerful way to reconnect with your inner power is the chakra system.
You've probably seen the pictures drawn of them (the circles of red-orange-yellow-green-blue-indigo-purple/white) in areas of your body which also have nerve ganglia correlates.
Psychically, they look like these beautiful vortices of energy, and, physically, energetically and emotionally, they balance your mind, body, and spirit.
They're powerful and they allow us to directly engage our own power -- without anyone's help. In short, they connect us to ourselves, and each point is another way of responding and relating to the world.
The second chakra, for example, which is orange in color, is located just below our belly buttons in the front, and at our lower back.
This chakra governs sensuality, creativity, relationships, emotions, boundaries, sexuality, passion, and pleasure.
When it's too open, you'll find self-indulgence, self-gratifcation, and actions that are selfish, needy and clingy.
When it's blocked, people feel closed off from their joy, inspiration, hope, and emotions. They experience heavy depression, flatness - "meh" in their emotions, a feeling of not caring or being intimately connected.
Either way, if it's too open or blocked or closed, you'll have trouble knowing what you want, and making decisions which create good, flowing, loving boundaries with yourself and others.
Either way, if it's too open or blocked or closed, you'll have trouble knowing what you want, and making decisions which create good, flowing, loving boundaries with yourself and others.
The second chakra is governed by the water element, and is all about flowing with life! And, they allow for a direct experiencing of pleasure in the world!
Want to learn how to balance it? There are many ways, but here are some suggestions:
- Sit with your back relaxed but supported and your feet on the floor, or you can sit cross-legged.
- Try taking 3 deep breaths. Imagine that you are actually breathing into this chakra with your breath, blowing out anything that you don't need or want in this area. Really letting go.
- See an orange-colored light - a beautiful orange color moving like water through the front and back of you, allow this to fill your center.
- Say an affirmation, such as: "My body supports and delights me. I delight and open fully to the pleasure in myself and in the world." Or, " I am available for love. I am available and ready to experience the pleasure of life!"
- Ask your body to adjust your chakra the right amount of openness. Your body knows the way, and again, this is about trusting yourself!
- You can ask to see what this chakra looks like and allow your imagination or psychic ability to offer an image.
- Notice whether your chakra feels open.
- Stretch and allow yourself to enjoy this glorious feeling of openness!
Now, throughout the day, ask yourself, "Am I open to pleasure in this moment?" Or, you can affirm, "I am softening, relaxing, and going with flow as I open to pleasure, passion, and delight in my life!"
As you eat, sit, look, or use your senses, allow your senses in, noticing how it feels to bring more of your direct experience into the moment.
As you eat, sit, look, or use your senses, allow your senses in, noticing how it feels to bring more of your direct experience into the moment.
As you bring your awareness to how you feel from the inside, really savoring and loving yourself and your experiences, you will feel more present and confident in being truly yourself!
This allows for greater, lasting power from within!
#women #confidence #selfesteem #pleasure #power #authenticity #sensuality #passion #sexuality #love #compassion #joy #selfexpression #mindfulness #embodiment #empowerment #truth
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Dr. Heather Schwartz is a transformative life coach who loves working with soulful sensitive women who are longing to feel confident and fully alive as they transform old beliefs, step into their power and express their true selves!